


The Lambs Are On the Run (Searchin' For Meaning)

by angelskuuipo



Series: Lambs 'verse [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, GFY, Gift Fic, Kid Fic, Light Angst, Mentions of Death, Mentions of PTSD, Original Fiction, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-28
Updated: 2014-09-28
Packaged: 2018-02-19 02:23:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2370950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelskuuipo/pseuds/angelskuuipo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Who knew a random question from a curious child would lead to this?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Lambs Are On the Run (Searchin' For Meaning)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sionnach](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sionnach/gifts).



> Disclaimer: This is an original work of fiction. Please do not take, borrow, copy, or otherwise make like it is yours. Thank you.
> 
> Prompt: Wall, Counter, or Tattoo
> 
> Written for the rockin’ awesome Sionnach_ayame’s birthday. Happy Birthday, Lady! Sorry for the wait. I actually finished this on your birthday, but I've been waiting to get it back from both my betas and I've spent the week tweaking it. So, this isn’t that thing we’ve been talking about, but I hope you enjoy it all the same. I managed to work in all three of your prompts and created a new original pairing just for you. And! You got my smut fic of the year. :P Love you, honey!
> 
> Title is from the song [Lost Stars](http://youtu.be/vyT-oGDnMqE) by Adam Levine (from the _Begin Again_ soundtrack). Don’t ask me why, but this started playing in my head when I read the prompt and I think it kind of fits. ::shrugs:: Big thanks to Shanachie and Snogged for the betas. Any remaining mistakes are on me.
> 
> Written: September 22, 2014
> 
> Word Count: 6,807

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“How come you have a _Hello Kitty_ Pirate on the back of your neck?”

Shanie Baxter blinked at the unexpected question from a young voice and turned a little to see who had asked it. She blinked again when she met the blue-green eyes of the cutest little boy she’d ever seen. She thought he was around six- maybe seven- with unruly tawny hair and light olive skin. He was missing two of his front teeth. Adorable. She looked around the café to see if she could spot his parents, but no one stuck out. Well, that didn’t bode well.

The boy tapped her shoulder and widened his eyes as he waited for her to answer the question. “Um,” she started, wondering just how to explain to a child she didn’t know that it was a youthful indiscretion. She’d regretted it for a while, but now she wore it with pride, just like the Phoenix that covered the lower part of her left leg. Finally, she just told him the truth. “Because pirates are awesome and _Hello Kitty_ was the best thing ever when I was a kid.”

The boy considered that then nodded. “I’d get _Yoshi_ ,” he confided.

Shanie’s lips twitched. She actually knew a guy that had the _Super Mario Bros_ character tattooed on his left bicep, so it wasn’t that strange to her. “ _Yoshi_ is pretty cool, too,” she agreed. She patted the chair next to her and the kid hopped up like he talked to strangers every day. Really not good. Where the hell were his parents? “So, where are your parents, kid?” she asked bluntly.

“Carson.”

“Huh?”

“My name is Carson,” he offered without answering her question.

“Shanie,” she returned automatically.

Before she could say anything else a frantic voice cut through the small café. “Carson Abraham Matheny, you are in so much trouble!”

Carson’s forehead hit the table and he sighed dramatically. “Crap.”

Shanie coughed to cover the laugh that wanted to escape. This kid was an absolute riot. “The full name is never good, kid.” 

She looked up at the man bearing down on her table and all thoughts of laughter fled. God bless, the guy was gorgeous. He was about 5’10” but the way he carried himself made him seem taller. He had the same tawny hair- although his was cut almost military short- and blue-green eyes as Carson. His mouth was sin made flesh. Holy _shit_. He was also really pissed. He reached them and she could see his fists clenching and unclenching as he breathed deeply. She looked a little closer and realized that, yeah, he was angry, but he was more scared than anything.

When he looked a little calmer, he asked in a low voice, “What part of ‘let me finish signing this and then we’ll get lunch’ did you not understand? Jesus Christ, Car, do you know what it did to me to turn around and see that you were gone?”

Carson flopped back to sprawl in his chair and pouted up at the guy. “I just went next door, Bas. We’d been in that office for hours and I was hungry! It’s not like I ran away. Geez.”

Shanie felt distinctly uncomfortable being caught in the middle of what was obviously a very private family moment, but there was no way to escape. She supposed she could just give them the table, but she was hungry and her food would be arriving soon. She hoped.

“Not the point, Carson,” Bas snapped.

When the boy’s lips started to wobble, Shanie spoke up. “Uh, hey, how ‘bout you stop looming and scaring the crap out of your son and sit down.”

Bas blinked and looked at her for the first time. She realized that he hadn’t even known she was there. Huh, he didn’t strike her as the type to miss something like a person sitting next to his kid.

“Who the hell are you?” he demanded.

“I’m the one whose lunch was interrupted by the curiosity of a child with the self-preservation instincts of a lemming. And you are?” she said frostily. She hadn’t asked for any of this. Where did he get off getting bitchy with her?

Carson slapped a hand over his face. “Bas, dude, stop being such a douche.”

Shanie rounded on Carson before Bas could say anything. “Little man, you are entirely too young to be speaking like that. Where’d you learn that word?”

He looked at her from between his fingers and mumbled, “Group home.”

Shanie blinked and looked between Carson and Bas. She was missing something and, while it wasn’t any of her business, she had to admit she was curious.

Bas sighed and dropped into the chair on her other side. He scrubbed at his face with his left hand, muttering under his breath, “Yes, let’s just air all our sad sack problems out to a complete stranger. Why not?” He took a few more deep breaths then looked at her with a somewhat sheepish expression. “I’m sorry.” He held out his right hand and she cautiously shook it. “I’m Sebastian Matheny and this is my little brother, Carson. Call me Bas.”

“Shanie Baxter,” she offered, wondering when her afternoon off had taken such a bizarre turn.

Bas must have seen something in her expression, because he said, “Look, we can go and forget this ever happened. I’m sorry my brother interrupted your lunch and I’m sorry I kinda yelled at you. It’s…” His shoulders slumped and he almost whispered, “It’s been a rough couple of months.”

Shanie took a sip of her lemonade and looked back and forth between the brothers. Carson was nibbling on his thumb, like he wanted to suck it but knew better. Bas, well, he just looked tired. This wasn’t how she planned to spend her day off, but why not. She was feeling a little invested.

She settled into her chair and said, “I haven’t got anything else to do today, so why don’t you two order lunch and you can tell me whatever you want. I’m not a therapist, but I’ve been told I’m a pretty good listener.”

Bas blinked at her then looked at Carson. Carson sat up and plucked one of the menus out of the tray next to the ketchup like it was already a done deal. Bas gave Shanie a crooked smile. “Thanks. That’d be nice.”

Silence reined until the waiter came by with her food and took their orders, but it wasn’t as awkward as it could have been. They didn’t have to tell her a thing and she could just look at it like she’d offered to share her table with a couple of handsome guys, even if one of them was in elementary school.

“My parents are dead,” Carson said after the waiter left.

Bas facepalmed and Shanie choked a little on the French fry she’d just taken a bite of. Once she’d cleared her throat, she said, “I’m sorry, what?”

Carson looked up at her with sad eyes. “You asked me earlier where my parents were. They’re dead. Car accident. Bas had to come home to take care of me. He signed off on the” Carson frowned and said the next word slowly, like he wasn’t quite sure of it, “guar-dian-ship papers today. That’s where we were before I came in here and met you.”

She could see the tears forming, but Carson blinked them away and she allowed him his dignity. She told both of them as sincerely as she could, “I am so sorry for your loss.”

Carson shrugged and played with the wrapper on his napkin. Bas smiled wanly. “Thanks. I got emergency leave when I got the call, but it still took me almost two weeks to get back. We don’t have any other family, so the state put Carson into a boys’ home until I got back. It…wasn’t good. I’ve been dealing with red tape ever since. It’s- this- today was supposed to be a really good day,” he finished tiredly.

“It _is_ a good day, Bas,” Carson said stubbornly. “No one can take me away from you now. I’m sorry I left without telling you. I just,” he hiccupped and wiped at the tears on his face, looking irritated that he was crying. “I just couldn’t be in that office anymore.”

Shanie wiped at her own eyes. She’s always been a sympathetic crier. Bas looked like he wanted to get up and hug Carson, but didn’t know if he should. Shanie made the decision for him and pulled Carson onto her lap and wrapped her arms around him.

“Shh, sweetie,” she murmured as she petted Carson’s hair. “It’s all right.”

She rocked him for a few minutes and smiled reassuringly at Bas, who weakly smiled back and mouthed ‘thank you’.

Carson curled into her until he saw the waiter coming with their food. He slid back into his chair and mumbled, “Sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for, little man. I cried for ages after my parents died. If anyone holds it against you then they’re not worth your time,” Shanie said as firmly as she could.

Carson blinked up at her. “You’re an orphan, too?”

She considered that as she took a bite of her sandwich. She’d never really thought of herself that way, because her Aunt Megs and Uncle Joe were there from the beginning. “Well, I lived with my aunt and uncle after, but yeah I’m an orphan, too.”

He looked a little better knowing that and dove into his chicken strips with gusto.

“You’re good with him,” Bas said softly as he pushed his fries around his plate.

Shanie shrugged. “He’s a person and I like people. I’ve been where you both are now.” She let him ponder that for a few before she asked, “Are you in the military?”

His eyebrows rose in surprise, but nodded. “Air Force. I’m stationed here, but I was deployed when it all happened.” He looked at his brother with a combination of frustration and love and said lowly, “I’ve started the separation process, but it’s not going well. They’re dragging their feet and trying to send me back. I’m not going to leave him like that. His best friend’s mom has offered to keep him, which I guess is really nice, but he’s not a damn dog that needs a new home.” 

He huffed and took a savage bite of his hamburger. Shanie felt her heart melt a little. Here was a guy who was rearranging his entire life so he could take care of his brother. He could be very dangerous to her peace of mind.

Even knowing that didn’t stop her from pulling out one of her business cards and scribbling her cell number on the back. She handed it to him and he looked at her in question.

She gave him a crooked smile. “If you ever need to vent or if you need help, or just want to talk or something, give me a call.”

“Seriously? You just met us and I know I didn’t make the best first impression.”

“Yeah well, extenuating circumstances; besides, your brother makes up for a lot of your lack of charm.”

Carson giggled, so they both knew he was listening. Bas grinned and winked at him then looked at Shanie and said, “Trust me, sweetheart, if I was trying to charm you, you’d know.”

Without missing a beat, she said, “Well, it’s good to know you don’t think I’m worth the effort. That makes me feel all kinds of warm and fuzzy.”

Bas paled, then flinched when Carson slid down in his chair and kicked him as hard as he could under the table. “I-I-I,” he flailed and Shanie let him off the hook.

She smiled and shook her head. “Relax, Bas. You’ve had a bit of a day. From the sound of it you’ve had a bit of several days, so I won’t hold it against you. But if you’re still a jerk the next time we talk then all bets are off.”

She tried not to think too hard about the fact that she’d basically just told him she wanted to talk to him again.

Bas looked relieved as he tucked her card into his wallet. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

She tried not to think too hard about that either.

~*~

Bas wasn’t the one to call her; Carson was. It was six o’clock on a Wednesday morning, two weeks after they met. She’d been ready to write it off as just one of those things.

Shanie was just taking a tray of baguettes out of the oven when her cell phone rang. She almost dropped the pan in surprise, but managed to set it on the counter before the call went to voicemail.

She answered without checking the ID, so excuse her for being a little surprised when a childish voice said without preamble, “Shanie, I need your help.”

She didn’t really know any other children that might be calling her, so she took a chance. “Carson?”

“Yeah. Can you come?”

Shanie frowned. “What’s wrong, little man?”

“Bas locked himself in the bathroom last night and he won’t come out. He won’t tell me why either. I’m getting scared.” Though he tried to control it, she could hear the tremor in his voice.

Her assistant, Lara, walked in just as she reached for the notepad by the landline. “What’s your address?” Carson rattled it off and she said, “I’ll be there as soon as I can, okay?”

“’kay. Thank you, Shanie.”

“No worries, little man. I’ll see you soon.” She ended the call and hung her head for a moment. She had no idea how this was going to go down, but she’d give it a shot.

“You’re leaving?” Lara asked.

Shanie jumped. She’d forgotten Lara was there. She turned and popped one of the fresh loaves of bread out of the pan and wrapped it as she answered. “Yeah, for a little while. A friend needs help. Everything is pretty much prepped and ready to go for the morning. You should be alright ‘til I get back. Hopefully I won’t be gone more than a couple of hours.”

She went to the front of the shop and grabbed a jar of peach preserves she’d canned herself, a small round of Brie, and a hunk of Drunken Goat cheese. Then she dished up some of the purple grapes she’d put out on the condiment bar. She put everything into a bag; made sure she had her keys, wallet, and her phone, and headed for the door.

“What should I tell people if they ask for you?” Lara asked before she stepped outside.

Shanie shrugged and said, “Family emergency.”

It wasn’t until she got halfway there that she wondered if Bas actually lived on base or not. If he did, then she didn’t know what she was going to do. It wasn’t like she had clearance or whatever it was that she needed to get on. Thankfully, the address Carson had given her led her to a neat little bungalow about two miles from the base. She parked in the driveway behind a beat up Ford truck and headed for the front door.

Carson must have been watching for her, because he threw the door open before she could knock and barreled into her to wrap his arms around her waist. She ‘oofed’ but hugged him back. 

“You came,” he breathed into her stomach.

“’Course I did. You said you needed me,” Shanie replied as she cupped the back of his head.

He sniffed as he let her go, then sniffed again as he caught a whiff of fresh baked bread. He looked up at her. “You brought food?”

Shanie shrugged, a little embarrassed. It had been reflex on her part. Comfort food was a thing for her. “I’d just taken some loaves of bread out of the oven. Thought it might be good. I brought some peach preserves, some cheese, and grapes, too.”

Carson lit up as he finally realized they were still standing in his doorway and he moved so Shanie could come inside. “Sounds yummy. I’m tired of Pop-tarts.”

Shanie’s lips twitched. God love the innocence and honesty of children. “Bas doesn’t cook?”

Carson shrugged. “He tries, and I try to help, but we wind up burning stuff more than anything. We eat a lot of pizza and Chinese.”

Shanie’s smile faded. “Well, how about after Bas comes out of the bathroom, I’ll see what I can do about making you both a proper breakfast.”

Carson bounced on his toes and nodded so hard she was afraid he’d give himself whiplash. He took her into the kitchen and she sighed in relief. They might suck at cooking, but at least they kept it clean. She had no idea how long it was going to take to talk Bas out of the bathroom, or even if she could, so she found a knife, a spoon, and a plate as Carson sat at the kitchen island and watched her intently. 

It hadn’t occurred to her when she’d grabbed the things she had that she was going to be feeding a small child. This might not have been the best idea. Oh well, never know unless you try. Shanie cut a small piece of each cheese and offered them to Carson. “If you don’t like them you don’t have to eat them, but give them a try.” 

He tried the Brie first and wrinkled his nose. “It’s bitter,” he said then he tilted his head, “but also kinda like butter?”

Shanie smiled as she cut another small piece and topped it with a little bit of the peach preserves. “Yeah, try it like this,” she said as she offered it to him. 

He took a cautious bite then crammed the rest of it into his mouth. “Tha’s good.”

She handed him a grape to eat with the Drunken Goat. “Try that with the other one.”

He did and she couldn’t suppress her smile at the look of concentration on his face. He swallowed and said, “I like ‘em both.”

“All right then.” Shanie cut two slices of the still hot baguette and layered the Brie and preserves on top. The cheese started melting almost immediately. Then she cut a few cubes of the Drunken Goat and added a small handful of grapes to the plate. She offered it to Carson with a flourish and she was glad to hear him giggle.

“Let the bread cool a little more before you dive in. Don’t want you to burn your mouth,” Shanie cautioned as she wrapped everything up and put the knife and spoon into the sink.

“’kay,” Carson said around a grape.

Shanie wiped her hands on a paper towel and decided she’d stalled long enough. “Where’s Bas, Carson?”

Carson stopped mid-chew and looked at her solemnly. “Mom and Dad’s old room.” Before she could ask, he hopped off the stool and took her hand, leading her out of the kitchen and down to the end of the hall. He pointed to the right at a closed door and said, “Good luck,” before he sprinted back towards the kitchen.

Shanie stared at the door for a minute, hoping to divine some inspiration from the wood. She had no idea what she was doing. Not that that had ever really stopped her before. Finally, she took a fortifying breath and knocked on the door. There was no answer, so she cautiously opened it and found herself looking into a large master bedroom. It had been stripped down, but she could see the spirit of the people who once occupied the space in the cheerful yellow walls and the pictures that still graced them.

She sent up a silent prayer that she wouldn’t screw up too badly and entered the room. There was an open closet door on the right, so she assumed that the closed door on the left was the en suite.

Some instinct told her that standing right in front of the door would be a bad idea, so she angled herself to the side and knocked. When there was no answer, she said, “Bas? It’s Shanie. I don’t know if you remember me, but we met a couple of weeks ago. We had lunch the day you signed the guardianship papers for Carson. I gave you my card.” Still no answer, so Shanie kept going. “Carson called me this morning. Said you’d locked yourself in here and wouldn’t come out. He was starting to get scared. He asked if I would come over.”

Nothing. This was obviously going to take awhile. Shanie slid down the wall and leaned her head back against it. 

“I’m not sure why he called me and not one of his friends’ moms, or one of your friends. I know we don’t know each other very well. I kinda figure that since it’s been two weeks and you never called that you weren’t all that interested in talking to me again, but I wasn’t just gonna blow Carson off. He’s a good kid.”

She fell quiet for a few minutes then said, “I’m gonna take a wild guess and say you had some kind of flashback last night and that you locked yourself in there so you wouldn’t hurt Carson on accident. I have no idea what you do for the Air Force and I don’t know where you were deployed to, but I’m not an idiot. It’s easy enough to imagine that you’ve seen some bad shit. I’m also pretty sure you can’t tell me about it, and that’s okay. I’m not sure I want to know.” 

“If you’re locked in your head right now, I honestly have no idea how to help get you out. My uncle George was in Vietnam and he used to get like that sometimes. We were all warned to stay away when that happened. But really, I just wanted to give him a hug. No one who looked that scared should have to feel that alone. So if you want me to keep talking, I can do that, or if you want me to shut up, I can do that too, but I kinda need a sign to know which way to go.”

She quieted and just sat there, wondering if he’d heard her at all. Just as she was gearing up for another ramble she heard the lock on the door disengage, but it didn’t open. She thought about it and asked, “You want me to come in?”

She didn’t get a verbal response, but the door cracked open so she took that as a ‘yes’. She stood up and cautiously pushed it wide enough that she could slip inside. It was a spacious room, with a large soaking tub and separate shower. She moved so she wasn’t blocking the exit and leaned against the sink. Bas was in the tub, knees pulled up to his chest, and a handgun laying on the lip. The gun made her nervous, but he wasn’t holding it, so she made herself ignore it for the time being.

She gave him a small wave. “Hey.”

His eyes were red and his hand was trembling, but he waved back and his lip curled up into a ghost of a smile. “Hey,” he croaked.

“Is there anything I can do?” she finally asked.

“You’re doing it,” he said tiredly. “Just listening to you helped pull me back.” He knocked his head against the tiled wall and closed his eyes. “I’m sorry Carson bothered you.”

“Hey, no. Don’t even, dude. I would much rather he calls me than you do something you’ll regret once you come out of whatever this was. I don’t care that we’re basically strangers. You’ve been serving your country in a war zone. That’s gonna fuck anybody up. And now you’re turning your life upside down and inside out to take care of your brother. I feed people for a living. The least I can do is show up if that same kid calls to ask for my help. Trust me, Bas, I might not be exactly qualified, but it’s definitely not a bother.”

She went to run her hands through her hair and realized she was still wearing her hairnet. She blinked and looked down. Yep, she still had her apron on too. Lara could have said something, she thought uncharitably. Shanie pulled the hairnet off and shoved it into the pocket of her apron. She ran her fingers through her hair, scratching at her scalp. She didn’t notice the way Bas’s eyes followed her movements or how he licked his lips when she closed her eyes and tilted her head back.

“Your hair is really pretty,” he said.

She looked at him in surprise. “My hair is a flippin’ disaster right now.”

He shook his head. “It’s a pretty color. Like the sky at sunset.”

Shanie blinked at him. Any other time and she’d think it was just a line, but Bas looked so vulnerable, so exhausted, that she couldn’t think it was anything other than the truth as he saw it.

“Thank you,” she said. And if she blushed some, well, she wasn’t used to getting those kinds of compliments, all right? People generally complimented her cooking, not her looks.

It seemed to finally dawn on Bas that he was sitting in a bathtub and had his gun within reach. He dropped his forehead to his knees. “Fuck.”

“What?”

Still talking to his chest, Bas said, “I didn’t think it was possible to make a worse impression than when we met, but here we are.” Shanie grinned, but he didn’t see it. She had just schooled her expression when he looked up and met her eyes. “You were wrong, you know. I did want to talk to you again, but I’ve been so fucking busy trying to get shit done that I just haven’t had the time. I think it’s pretty obvious that I’m not in a good place right now and trying to date you on top of everything else might just push me over the edge.”

Shanie pursed her lips. He looked a little mortified at what he’d just said, but she was kind of glad to hear it. At least he knew he was walking the edge. “Ignoring the fact that you’ve managed to unintentionally insult me for the second time in as many meetings,” she snickered a little when he groaned out another ‘fuck’, “may I say that I am a little flattered that you would like to date me? I understand the bad timing, Bas. I won’t push. But we could maybe try the friend thing. You don’t have to do everything on your own. I might not know much about how the military works, but I do know they have something like family services, right? Check it out. Just because you need help, and you ask for it, doesn’t make you weak.”

He stared at her for so long that Shanie started to think she might have overstepped. She shifted a little uncomfortably and that seemed to knock him out of his thoughts.

“How are you real?” he asked as he stood up.

She had a comeback ready, but got a little distracted at the sight of him in a pair of tight gray boxer briefs and his ‘Aim High’ t-shirt. He had gorgeous legs; well muscled and just the right side of hairy. The hem of his shirt fell just short enough for her to get a glimpse of an enticing bulge, before she snapped her eyes up to his face.

Amusement was a good look on him.

She blushed, but said, “Like you don’t know you’re gorgeous.”

He stepped out of the tub, still grinning. “I haven’t had any complaints.”

She rolled her eyes and turned to go. Amusement was all well and good, but smug was not. “Take a shower. Breakfast will be done by the time you get out.” She got to the doorway of the bedroom and looked over her shoulder. “And Bas?” She continued when he looked at her. “I’m glad you’re doing a little better.”

He ducked his head and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “Thank you for helping.”

“You’re welcome.”

(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)

**Six Months Later**

Shanie was just about ready to close up for the night. The last customer had left and she was down to the dregs of her stock. It had been a particularly good day, but she was very ready for it to be over. She had just pulled the tray with the last two cupcakes from the display case when the bell over the door chimed.

“We’re closed,” she said without looking up.

“I know,” Bas said as he shut the door and locked it behind him.

Shanie looked up with a smile, but her greeting died on her lips when she got a good look at him. He was dressed in a charcoal gray suit with a light blue shirt and sapphire blue tie. He’d let his hair grow in the last few months and it was just starting to brush his ears and collar. He was carrying a riotously colorful bouquet of flowers and the smile on his almost too handsome face was one she hadn’t actually seen before.

In short, he was fucking gorgeous.

She might have whimpered, probably did since his smile melted into something she could only define as wicked.

She looked down at her flour dusted pants and stained apron. She hadn’t bothered with makeup that morning, and there may or may not have been frosting smudged on her cheek. Her hair was in its usual bun, and…she reached up…yep she was still wearing a hairnet. She felt distinctly plain and frumpy in comparison.

Bas slipped behind the counter and pulled an empty vase off the shelf. He filled it with water and arranged the bouquet in it while she tried to pull herself together. He set the vase on top of the display case and turned to her with a very intent look in his eye.

“Don’t touch me!” Shanie cried as he started towards her. He stopped dead and blinked at her, the first hint of uncertainty crossing his face. She bit her lip in consternation. “I’m a mess and I don’t want to wrinkle you. You’re too pretty.”

Bas sighed and his shoulders relaxed. “I think you look perfect.”

Shanie whimpered again. Every time. Every damn time he’d say something that should sound like a line, but he was so frickin’ sincere that she had to believe him. He’d done wonders for her self esteem. She’d like to think she’d been just as good for him in the last six months.

“What’s the occasion?” she asked in a desperate bid to change the subject.

He stood up straight and said formally, “I would like to take you to dinner, Shanie.”

Shanie bit her lip again. Despite the fact that she’d spent most of the day in the kitchen, she was kind of over being around people. Bas showed just how well he’d come to know her, because he said, “But I figured you’d probably be feeling a little antisocial, so I arranged to have it delivered in an hour. Should give you time to take a shower and get comfortable.”

She snorted out a laugh and he grinned at her, light and happy. “What about Carson?”

“Carson is spending the night at Jamie’s house. He told me to tell you he loves you and that he wants French toast with bananas and caramel when you come over on Sunday.”

“Of course he does.” Carson Matheny had turned into quite a little food snob since she started feeding him regularly. “Fine, you win,” she said fondly. As she moved passed him, she moved up on her toes to give him a kiss on the cheek. Only, he turned at the same time and caught her lips with his.

The world turned white.

Six months.

Six months of building a solid friendship. Six months of creating a chosen family between the three of them. Six months of early morning phone calls a couple of times a week from a scared little boy. Six months of convincing his older brother that he wasn’t a failure or a fuck up; that he could take care of Carson and still have a life. Six months of researching PTSD and coping strategies. Six months of Bas and Shanie getting to know each other in ways most couples didn’t after six years. Six months of becoming intimate in almost every way except physically. Six months of tamping down mutual desire and attraction because the time just wasn’t right. Six months of holding onto the fragile hope that someday they would get their chance.

It looked like that day was finally here.

God, she hoped that’s what this was. Because if he pulled back and apologized and tried to go back, it just might break her.

When they broke for air, Shanie realized she was sitting on the counter and her legs were wrapped around Bas’ waist. His coat and her apron were tossed over the cash register and his hand was down her pants, his fingers rubbing distractingly over her underwear. Sweet baby Jesus that felt good.

She couldn’t believe she was about to say this, but… “We have to stop,” Shanie panted out. Bas reared back and looked at her with a devastated expression. She grabbed his tie and hauled him back towards her. “Not like that, dumbass. We need to go upstairs. I am not going to have our first time be on the counter of my restaurant. I’m already going to have to disinfect it in the morning. I refuse to blush for the rest of my life every time I look at it from now on.”

Bas snorted and then he started laughing so hard he had to grab the counter to keep himself upright. Shanie thumped him on the arm and used his distraction to get down so she could go through the quick version of her closing routine. He calmed down enough to finish helping her and they shut off the lights and started up the stairs, hand in hand.

Bas paused on the landing and pressed her into the wall, kissing her deeply. Shanie responded helplessly. She’d known they could be good together, but this was unreal. Her shirt and pants were off before she even realized and she moaned when Bas took her cotton-covered nipple into his mouth.

“I-I thought we were going upstairs,” she managed, rubbing her hands fretfully over his bare shoulders. When had he gotten his shirt off?

He trailed kisses back up her chest and neck, pausing at her lips briefly before continuing on to her ear. “You said not in the restaurant. We’re not there now. I have wanted this, wanted _you_ for so long, Shanie. Please don’t make me wait anymore.”

Well hell. How was a girl supposed to refuse an entreaty like that? She owned the building, and it wasn’t like there were other tenants. Nothing else about their relationship had been exactly normal. Why should this be any different?

“I’ve never had wall sex before, Ba- _oohhh_.” How had he found the one place on her shoulder that drove her absolutely wild right out of the gate? This entire experience was gearing up to be epic. Her hands slid down his chest and she fumbled with is belt.

He stepped back and took care of his pants himself, taking the time to slip out of his shoes so he could take them off completely. Shanie took off her bra and shimmied out of her panties while he pulled a condom out of his wallet. Oh, right, that part was kind of important.

Bas looked up and froze. Shanie trembled a little at the expression on his face. No one had ever looked at her the way he was. It was almost frightening. “Bas?”

He took one step towards her and cupped her face in his hands. “You are so goddamn beautiful, Shanie. Inside and out. How did I get so lucky?”

Tears stung her eyes at that. That was probably the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to her in her life. “Right place at the right time, I guess,” she finally managed.

Bas kissed her then and she forgot all about tears. His hands were everywhere and if she didn’t know better, she’d swear he’d grown another pair. She wasn’t idle as she mapped out his chest and found the places that made him shudder. The only problem was that every time she tried to stray lower, he shifted out of her reach.

When she huffed after the third time, he leaned back with a strained grin on his face. “I’m too close, babe. I’ll go off like a rocket if you so much as breathe on me and I’d much rather be inside you when that happens.”

She shuddered in want and pawed at the boxer briefs he was still wearing. “Then hurry up, because I’m tired of waiting, too.”

Bas shucked his underwear and Shanie moaned loud enough for it to echo in the stairwell at the first sight of him as he rolled the condom on. “Fuck,” he swore as he grabbed the base of his cock and squeezed tight. He glared at her, but she knew he wasn’t angry; just incredibly turned on. “This isn’t going to work,” he muttered. Before she could ask him what he was talking about, Bas went to his knees before her and threw one of her legs over his shoulder.

It was her turn to swear as he licked at her folds without preamble and she lost her balance. She tried to say, “Warn a girl,” but it came out as a garbled moan. She grabbed the railing behind her to keep herself upright and stared down at the top of his head as she panted for breath. He rolled his eyes up at her at the same time he slipped two fingers inside her and she was gone; her cries echoing all around them.

He stood, letting her leg slide off his shoulder, but lifting her as he went, and he wrapped her other leg around his waist. If she was a little more aware, she might have felt horribly exposed; as it was, she felt sexy and wanton and _wanted_ as she tasted herself on his lips. She tried to pry her hand off of the railing she was still clutching, but Bas shook his head.

“Hold on,” he murmured against her lips and she was glad for it when he entered her right after.

Nothing. No _thing_ had ever felt as good as he did. Shanie sobbed at the feeling and just arched her back to try and take him deeper. Bas swore viciously and held her hips tightly as he pounded into her, curving his spine so he could latch onto the breast she had so un-self-consciously offered him.

Later, there would be finger-shaped bruises that he would apologize for. Later, there would be a little doubt and a precarious moment of wondering if they’d ruined everything. Later, they would realize that they’d actually tipped the other way and know they’d only get stronger from here on out.

In that moment, though, there was nothing but the two of them and the knowledge that they were possibly having the best sex of their lives. They might have deafened themselves a little when they came within moments of each other.

Shanie was in the shower when dinner arrived, so she didn’t get to see the blush on the delivery girl’s face when Bas opened the door in just his suit pants and a spectacular hickey blooming just under his collarbone, but he told her all about it as they ate.

After a delicious meal and a second, less fraught, but no less satisfying round of lovemaking, they lay in her bed and held each other. Bas was idly tracing abstract patterns over her hip and she was doing the same on his chest when she started giggling.

He smiled down at her. “Want to share the joke?”

She propped her chin on his chest and said, “You weren’t wrong when we first met.” When he just raised his eyebrows in question, she continued with a cheeky grin, “I can definitely say that I’ve now been charmed by you.”

He stared at her for a long moment then started laughing. “You brat,” he said as he started tickling her.

Life was good and, she hoped, was only going to get better.

-30-


End file.
